Texting During Early Stages of Dating

Trying to understand texting etiquette when you start dating someone can feel like an absolute minefield.  How long should I wait before texting them? Who texts first? Does the last text I sent make me sound insane?

Texting when dating does not have to be this stressful. Think of texting as simply another form of communication you have to flirt with and get to know your new person. Keep reading for our essential tips for texting while dating.

How Much Should I Text in The Beginning of a Relationship?

This is a common question. How much you should text someone in the early stages of dating can partly depend on what is comfortable for your lifestyle. Of course, you don’t want to come on too strong after your first few dates, but if you like someone you should check in with them.

That said, texting a few times throughout the week. Be mindful of the times and days you send a text – week nights and weekends typically work best.

8 Rules for Texting in Early-Stage Relationships

Set healthy texting habits early on in the relationship with these 8 texting rules.

1. Early Stages Of Dating – How Often To Text?

How often should you text in the early stages of dating? Well, it’s all about the fine balance between texting often enough but not too often. This will depend on you and the person you are dating. Some people just straight up do not like to text.

If you are really unsure, stick to texting two or three text conversations per week for some light communication between dates. Save some conversation for when you see them in real life!

2. Avoid Games

Communication is a two-way street, and both people should be initiating conversation over text. It’s also important to just be yourself anytime you communicate with your date. Don’t stress about waiting a certain amount of time before replying to try and ‘play cool’. Just reply when you have the time to.

However, if you find that you are always the one to initiate texts, that is the time to take a step back and let them text you first.

3. Be Patient

Patience is key in a relationship. Don’t check your phone constantly to see if they have read the message you sent them seven seconds ago. Send the text and get on with your day. They will reply when they have the time.

As long as you are going on regular dates once or twice a week, don’t even stress about texting.

4. Text With Purpose

Text your person when you actually have something to say and aren’t doing it just for the sake of texting them. Quality conversations are much more valuable than the number of texts. In fact, texting too much will prevent you from maintaining that enticing air of mystery.

5. Watch Your Tone

Communication style is not just about the words you say – it’s also about body language and tone of voice. A lot of that is lost through text messages, especially if you don’t know the person that well. Texts don’t always come across how you intend them.

If you find that the other person often misunderstands your texts, switching to voice notes or phone calls might be a good option.

6. Avoid Sexting

Not everyone is comfortable with sexting, especially at the beginning of a relationship. It can be tempting to want to add some spice to your texts but go slow. Save it for when you know each other better and are more committed.

After all, if you just started talking, can you really trust them with revealing pictures of yourself? Don’t take the risk.

7. Be Consistent With How Often You Text

Show interest by being consistent in your texting style – it is much more important than the number of messages you send. If you text them a lot and then stop responding for a while, the other person will get very confused.

8. Know When To End A Conversation 

If you find that the back-and-forth texts are dragging on and on for no reason, it’s okay to end the conversation. If you notice the conversation getting more serious, keep it light and save the deep chats for in-person.

If you want to text them again, tell them you are busy at the moment and will text them tomorrow. End the conversation with a flirty tone. However, if you aren’t that into them, it’s okay to tell them that too, rather than leading them on over text.

Texting Red Flags

Pay attention if your date does any of these texting red flags.

Constant Texting

If they text all day, it means they are not fully present in their own lives. They may lack personal boundaries, have codependent behavior, or are desperate for a relationship.

Asking For Personal Information

If you have just started talking to someone, you have no idea what intentions they have. Scammers, stalkers, and abusers are out there on dating apps. Wait to give personal information until you can trust them.

Anger Or Threats

At the beginning of a relationship, people are supposed to be on their best behavior. If they feel comfortable enough to show intense anger towards you or threaten you early on, run in the opposite direction.

Sexual Content

If the person you are texting is trying to turn the conversation into an overly sexual direction early on, disengage. Those people are not looking for anything serious, so stay away.

Ghosting

If your person stops replying to your text messages altogether, they are ghosting you. For them, it is an easy way out of a relationship without actually telling you they’re just not interested. It sucks when it happens, but take it as a sign. Have respect for the dead and move on.

Any Form Of Abuse

Just like in real life, look out for these signs of abuse over text messages:

• Threatening you to answer them and expecting you to always reply immediately.
• Constantly asking where you are.
• Trying to control what you do or who you hang out with.
• Pressuring you to do anything that you don’t want to.
• Loveboming you one minute and then acting jealous and angry the next.
• Sending inappropriate photos without your consent.

In Closing:

Texting at the beginning of a relationship should be a fun and flirty way to communicate. Follow these rules and watch out for these red flags so that you can keep yourself safe. For more dating advice that will keep you safe, browse through our blog at datingsafetytips.com.